2012 is closing quietly and I'm grateful for the down time.
Looking forward to a year of magic, wonder and miracles. Thanks for sharing it with me.
Suzan
Monday, December 31, 2012
Day 31: Farewell 2012
It's been a full year. I have lots of photos, airline ticket stubs, and fond memories to prove it.
2012 is closing quietly and I'm grateful for the down time.
Looking forward to a year of magic, wonder and miracles. Thanks for sharing it with me.
Suzan
2012 is closing quietly and I'm grateful for the down time.
Looking forward to a year of magic, wonder and miracles. Thanks for sharing it with me.
Suzan
Days 27-30
As much as I looked forward to spending some time with family - my sister, her hubby and their 4 kids - I'm glad to be home.
I've had a few realizations that I'm still processing.
More later,
Suzan
I've had a few realizations that I'm still processing.
More later,
Suzan
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Day 27: In Search of Pine Cones
I'm going hiking soon in the mountains of North Carolina.
Pine cones will be on the list of what I intend to bring home.
These pine cone pixies are on the creative agenda when I return.
Don't they look like they're full of magic?
Suzan
Pine cones will be on the list of what I intend to bring home.
These pine cone pixies are on the creative agenda when I return.
Don't they look like they're full of magic?
Suzan
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Days 25 & 26: Oh What a Little Rest Can Do!
It's been wonder-full to have this time and space.
I've rested -- slept in.
Gone to hot yoga.
And created -- sewn 2 skirts (out of ties!) and modified a sweater.
I'm ready to get to the tasks in my list for this holiday period.
In MWM,
Suzan
I've rested -- slept in.
Gone to hot yoga.
And created -- sewn 2 skirts (out of ties!) and modified a sweater.
I'm ready to get to the tasks in my list for this holiday period.
In MWM,
Suzan
Monday, December 24, 2012
Day 24: Christmas Eve Dinner with Friends
Emma and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves this evening.
We were invited to Christmas Eve dinner at friends. Emma had a special invite to see how she would do with an agility course. My friends have a puppy, Camron, who is in training for competing and he was put through his paces when we arrived before the last sliver of the sun faded.
Camron was skillful and enthusiastic -- as much as his owners! The most proud is the 14-year old who asked for the pup as his "sport" instead of basketball! It's the 14-year old who will compete first. He will be leading his own trainer's dog soon in an arena set up for a show. (We did some EFT on his nervousness about that and it was gone in 2 rounds, down from a 7 to a 2, then zero! "It worked," he told his mom, my friend.)
Emma was terrific the whole time. The first thing she jumped over was the baby gate intended to keep the dogs in the kitchen! From a standing position, no less... So, with treats at her nose to motivate her, she jumped 18" high hurdles, walked through a tire (too low for her to jump), stepped on and off a teeter totter as well as a bridge. She stopped inside the tube, but I think she'd do things differently if it were daylight.
Tonight reminded me of some of the best time with my family as I was growing up: we had a lot of laughter at the dinner table. I'm grateful for these kinds of memories - both recent and from childhood.
Fondly,
Suzan
We were invited to Christmas Eve dinner at friends. Emma had a special invite to see how she would do with an agility course. My friends have a puppy, Camron, who is in training for competing and he was put through his paces when we arrived before the last sliver of the sun faded.
 |
| Camron and Emma |
Camron was skillful and enthusiastic -- as much as his owners! The most proud is the 14-year old who asked for the pup as his "sport" instead of basketball! It's the 14-year old who will compete first. He will be leading his own trainer's dog soon in an arena set up for a show. (We did some EFT on his nervousness about that and it was gone in 2 rounds, down from a 7 to a 2, then zero! "It worked," he told his mom, my friend.)
Emma was terrific the whole time. The first thing she jumped over was the baby gate intended to keep the dogs in the kitchen! From a standing position, no less... So, with treats at her nose to motivate her, she jumped 18" high hurdles, walked through a tire (too low for her to jump), stepped on and off a teeter totter as well as a bridge. She stopped inside the tube, but I think she'd do things differently if it were daylight.
Tonight reminded me of some of the best time with my family as I was growing up: we had a lot of laughter at the dinner table. I'm grateful for these kinds of memories - both recent and from childhood.
Fondly,
Suzan
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Day 23: I love hot yoga!
Ok, so my friend Diane has been gently inviting me to go to her hot yoga studio for months and months.
I finally went today. I loved it!!!
From the warm reception to the near-suffocating blast of hot air when I entered the room for the class, I felt like it was a coming home. Although I have a lot to learn and I wasn't able to complete all the poses, I so enjoyed focusing on how my body is strong and flexible.
I realized I'm not IN my whole body much of the time. I'm in my head. And my body has been asking me to pay attention to it.
I'm listening.
Tomorrow I'm going back. I signed up for the $49 introduction package so I get 12 classes in the next month. That's 3 each week and I already have them in my calendar.
In grateful MWM,
Suzan
I finally went today. I loved it!!!
From the warm reception to the near-suffocating blast of hot air when I entered the room for the class, I felt like it was a coming home. Although I have a lot to learn and I wasn't able to complete all the poses, I so enjoyed focusing on how my body is strong and flexible.
I realized I'm not IN my whole body much of the time. I'm in my head. And my body has been asking me to pay attention to it.
I'm listening.
Tomorrow I'm going back. I signed up for the $49 introduction package so I get 12 classes in the next month. That's 3 each week and I already have them in my calendar.
In grateful MWM,
Suzan
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Day 22: Movies and Creativity
After breakfast, painting and creating my vision board (which I intentionally started yesterday).
Up late last night so it was a little difficult to get up. I was more motivated to leave my warm bed once I remembered there was laundry waiting for me. (What's wrong with THAT picture?!?)
Breakfast with Diane at Mary's diner. We so seldom see each other even though we talk on the phone virtually every week.
Diane gave me an idea for direction with Heal Trauma Fast once the business is beginning to soar. I think she would make a great coaching trainer for the follow up piece of the training. She knows the tapping and she's an experienced coach and consultant already.
The idea, though, came when I expressed my fear about HTF and what I will do to manage it when it is as big as I think it will be: hire an executive director. That person can manage the finances and personnel so I can continue to do what I love most: teach/train and vision/create.
Oprah did that when she started her network. And locally, as Hot Yoga has grown, they hired someone who has business sense AND is a yoga practitioner. For HTF, I know I would want someone who will ethically manage the business and also be actively engaging in self-growth, using the tools we're teaching others to apply.
Now, Manifest THAT!
Suzan
Up late last night so it was a little difficult to get up. I was more motivated to leave my warm bed once I remembered there was laundry waiting for me. (What's wrong with THAT picture?!?)
Breakfast with Diane at Mary's diner. We so seldom see each other even though we talk on the phone virtually every week.
Diane gave me an idea for direction with Heal Trauma Fast once the business is beginning to soar. I think she would make a great coaching trainer for the follow up piece of the training. She knows the tapping and she's an experienced coach and consultant already.
The idea, though, came when I expressed my fear about HTF and what I will do to manage it when it is as big as I think it will be: hire an executive director. That person can manage the finances and personnel so I can continue to do what I love most: teach/train and vision/create.
Oprah did that when she started her network. And locally, as Hot Yoga has grown, they hired someone who has business sense AND is a yoga practitioner. For HTF, I know I would want someone who will ethically manage the business and also be actively engaging in self-growth, using the tools we're teaching others to apply.
Now, Manifest THAT!
Suzan
Day 21: contemplating Pi
So this is the final day of BEFORE a fuller expression of Pi.
I've been "seeing" a starburst for the past few days. Perhaps it's a representation of the shift in energy. Maybe it's about the perfect alignment. Or it could be a message about how I am to meditate and BECOME light and energy.
This evening, The Center sponsored a Pi Party, where everyone brought some form or Pi/pie. There were pumpkin pies, an "Orgasmic Tomato Pie", quiche, Brownies in a pie shape. I searched for (and found!) Moon Pies, which were transformed to the "New Moon Pi". Fun!
At the gathering at The Center, I experienced being a sparkler before the meditation. During it, I felt/saw becoming the starburst. I knew then that this is my mediation for the next few weeks.
I wanted MORE from the information about Pi once Trine delivered the session and meditation. I wanted to move, not eat! So I left for the Drum, Dance and Dream get together.
Drumming was, fortunately, still going on. And I got to DANCE!
Not much talking. But I was able to connect to JOY, feeling it in the drumming, expressing it in dance.
And that's the miracle of today,
Suzan
I've been "seeing" a starburst for the past few days. Perhaps it's a representation of the shift in energy. Maybe it's about the perfect alignment. Or it could be a message about how I am to meditate and BECOME light and energy.
This evening, The Center sponsored a Pi Party, where everyone brought some form or Pi/pie. There were pumpkin pies, an "Orgasmic Tomato Pie", quiche, Brownies in a pie shape. I searched for (and found!) Moon Pies, which were transformed to the "New Moon Pi". Fun!
At the gathering at The Center, I experienced being a sparkler before the meditation. During it, I felt/saw becoming the starburst. I knew then that this is my mediation for the next few weeks.
I wanted MORE from the information about Pi once Trine delivered the session and meditation. I wanted to move, not eat! So I left for the Drum, Dance and Dream get together.
Drumming was, fortunately, still going on. And I got to DANCE!
Not much talking. But I was able to connect to JOY, feeling it in the drumming, expressing it in dance.
And that's the miracle of today,
Suzan
Friday, December 21, 2012
Day 20: A Little Late
I woke up in the middle of the night remembering this blog.
During the day, most of the time I wanted to just go back to sleep. What a metaphor! On the eve of 12/21/12, the thing I most wanted to do is sleep.
There's no turning back as the cosmic energy shifts. The 21st brings an enormous leap in consciousness.
Are you ready for an entirely new ride?
Always in Magic, Wonder and Miracles,
Suzan
P.S. the photo was taken in Hawaii, by one of my "Popping Partners", Patti 😊. She is with Dr. Todd O and a reconstitution of the Lumerian Choir. Go Patti!
During the day, most of the time I wanted to just go back to sleep. What a metaphor! On the eve of 12/21/12, the thing I most wanted to do is sleep.
There's no turning back as the cosmic energy shifts. The 21st brings an enormous leap in consciousness.
Are you ready for an entirely new ride?
Always in Magic, Wonder and Miracles,
Suzan
P.S. the photo was taken in Hawaii, by one of my "Popping Partners", Patti 😊. She is with Dr. Todd O and a reconstitution of the Lumerian Choir. Go Patti!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Day 19: Letting Go & Allowing
Last night, I gave up trying to feed Max the special diet food and put the regular stuff in his bowl.
He scarfed it up!
And I gave him and Emma baths with medicated shampoo. Afterward the two of them were running around the house, playing and having a grand time.
I've decided that it's ok to put more importance in Max's current condition, letting go of needing to feed him the mix he won't even eat and allowing him to eat what he wants. I accept the consequences may be that his condition worsens, but I'm not going to prolong his life by compromising his current well-being. He's happier and so am I.
There's just no point in giving up on living NOW for the remote possibility that life could be extended a few more weeks or months. It could be a few more years for him, who can actually predict it?
This decision is a good one. I feel my heart open and I KNOW it's the best and right for what I know at this point. I've had to euthanize 4 other pets -- Charlotte was the first, then Prico, Tigger and Izzy. Not one of the decisions was easy, but all of them were clearer than what has been happening with Max.
So, I continue to ask for a miracle. I've already recieved one, I'm sure of that.
Suzan
He scarfed it up!
And I gave him and Emma baths with medicated shampoo. Afterward the two of them were running around the house, playing and having a grand time.
I've decided that it's ok to put more importance in Max's current condition, letting go of needing to feed him the mix he won't even eat and allowing him to eat what he wants. I accept the consequences may be that his condition worsens, but I'm not going to prolong his life by compromising his current well-being. He's happier and so am I.
There's just no point in giving up on living NOW for the remote possibility that life could be extended a few more weeks or months. It could be a few more years for him, who can actually predict it?
 |
| Emma and Max |
So, I continue to ask for a miracle. I've already recieved one, I'm sure of that.
Suzan
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Day 18: Remembering My Passion
I'm a counselor.
This was a private practice day for me. Each time I'm with clients, I remember what I love to do and be.
Counseling -- when it's most effective -- opens doors to new realities and possibilities for people. I "saw" several open today and it was so gratifying to be a witness to them.
The shifts that clients made were nearly visible. I love being a part of the healing and growth process -- for individuals as well as groups. My first passion was and continues to be with individuals.
The Soul Contract/Essence reading I had a few years ago used a metaphor of a deep, healing pool that people would step into. Today, I felt/sensed the significance of it.
So, I marvel at how lucky I am to be and do what I love.
In MWM,
Suzan
This was a private practice day for me. Each time I'm with clients, I remember what I love to do and be.
Counseling -- when it's most effective -- opens doors to new realities and possibilities for people. I "saw" several open today and it was so gratifying to be a witness to them.
The shifts that clients made were nearly visible. I love being a part of the healing and growth process -- for individuals as well as groups. My first passion was and continues to be with individuals.
The Soul Contract/Essence reading I had a few years ago used a metaphor of a deep, healing pool that people would step into. Today, I felt/sensed the significance of it.
So, I marvel at how lucky I am to be and do what I love.
In MWM,
Suzan
Monday, December 17, 2012
Days 16 & 17: How Do You Know?
How do you know when it's time to decide whether to euthanize a 13-year old pup who has been a dear friend?
Max, my Beagle, isn't eating the food I've prepared for him. He has kidney disease, pancreatic problems and thyroid issues. Twice each day, I give him medication for the thyroid. It's covered in a clever "pill pocket" so he eagerly gobbles it and then wants more of THAT.
But the expensive kidney formula dog food I purchased is... well, like dog food, and he doesn't want it. I've mixed it in the food processor with veggies he likes as well as chicken broth. And when I feed it to him, I add more chicken broth. He still won't eat it!
This is a dog who will beg for meat -- which he now isn't supposed to have because of the kidney issues. So I sneak him dried chicken strips. The vet isn't going to be happy, though, when I take him this week to have bloodwork drawn.
You'd think he'd be mopey and depressed. He's not. He's been playful with my other dog, Emma. He's willing to go for walks -- although they're not nearly as far as what we used to do.
The hard part has been putting him in a kennel while I'm gone during the day. He hates going in, so I have to entice him in with... yup, you guessed it, chicken strips!
Emma loves being in the kennel, so I had to train her NOT to go in when I was trying to get Max in there.
I leave the food bowl inside the kennel when I put Max in, with hopes that he'll eat. Some days he does. Yesterday he didn't. I'm not sure what happened today because I worked late and Donna, the wonderful woman who stops in to take care of my animals on my long work days, fed and walked the dogs. She didn't say anything or leave a note -- and she's good about keeping me informed.
So how DO you know when it's time? I sure don't.
I'm asking for a miracle here.
Suzan
Max, my Beagle, isn't eating the food I've prepared for him. He has kidney disease, pancreatic problems and thyroid issues. Twice each day, I give him medication for the thyroid. It's covered in a clever "pill pocket" so he eagerly gobbles it and then wants more of THAT.
But the expensive kidney formula dog food I purchased is... well, like dog food, and he doesn't want it. I've mixed it in the food processor with veggies he likes as well as chicken broth. And when I feed it to him, I add more chicken broth. He still won't eat it!
This is a dog who will beg for meat -- which he now isn't supposed to have because of the kidney issues. So I sneak him dried chicken strips. The vet isn't going to be happy, though, when I take him this week to have bloodwork drawn.
You'd think he'd be mopey and depressed. He's not. He's been playful with my other dog, Emma. He's willing to go for walks -- although they're not nearly as far as what we used to do.
The hard part has been putting him in a kennel while I'm gone during the day. He hates going in, so I have to entice him in with... yup, you guessed it, chicken strips!
Emma loves being in the kennel, so I had to train her NOT to go in when I was trying to get Max in there.
I leave the food bowl inside the kennel when I put Max in, with hopes that he'll eat. Some days he does. Yesterday he didn't. I'm not sure what happened today because I worked late and Donna, the wonderful woman who stops in to take care of my animals on my long work days, fed and walked the dogs. She didn't say anything or leave a note -- and she's good about keeping me informed.
So how DO you know when it's time? I sure don't.
I'm asking for a miracle here.
Suzan
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Day 15: Graduation
This morning I attended what may be my 10th graduation ceremony since I actually graduated myself.
I had the rare opportunity (for me) to be on stage with Mary Sanderfer, who finished her Ph. D. this summer. Rare for me actually means it was the first time and may even be my last. Usually it's the chair of the dissertation who hoods the student. (Because of my non-tenure position, i will never chair a dissertation -- which I don't mind!) Or one of the committee members. But I was neither. I have, however been an informal mentor.
Mary asked me a little over a week ago. And I said yes.
I'm glad I did. The experience was fun. As I took pictures, I realized how few I take of students and work. Yet I spend more time there than anywhere else.
So, thank you Mary, for the gift of this experience.
A miracle today,
Suzan
I had the rare opportunity (for me) to be on stage with Mary Sanderfer, who finished her Ph. D. this summer. Rare for me actually means it was the first time and may even be my last. Usually it's the chair of the dissertation who hoods the student. (Because of my non-tenure position, i will never chair a dissertation -- which I don't mind!) Or one of the committee members. But I was neither. I have, however been an informal mentor.
Mary asked me a little over a week ago. And I said yes.
I'm glad I did. The experience was fun. As I took pictures, I realized how few I take of students and work. Yet I spend more time there than anywhere else.
So, thank you Mary, for the gift of this experience.
A miracle today,
Suzan
Friday, December 14, 2012
Day 14: It's My Birthday!
One of my birthday gifts -- from Bridget! -- is a heart-shaped bowl with mother-of-pearl pink glaze paint on the inside. It's a reminder of the heart shift I experienced last weekend. Bridget had found it a few weeks ago, though. I've placed it with the angel altar that I made about a year ago.
I love that she KNEW what to find! (Ok, so maybe I'm not that hard to find things for if you really know me...)
Thanks to everyone who called, who texted, who sent cards and gifts.
Mostly, thanks for being in my tribe.
In MWM,
Suzan
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Day 13: The Lotus Power Image
In my hypnotherapy appointment yesterday, an extraordinary, very powerful image came immediately into focus when I tuned into my unconscious, asking, "What's next" in my life?
Here's the main image:
A transclucent pink and white lotus flower, tinges of yellow in its petals, floats on clear emerald green water, in the middle of large, dark green leaves. Above the flower is brilliant white light. Below, it's easy to trace the roots to the bottom of the pool of water. They're anchored to the silt at the bottom, filtering the nutrients and feeding the flower and plant.
It's a heart-catching scene.
And I'm just now finding out the symbolism of the lotus after searching for an image online. Turns out that this particular kind of flower is called the sacred lotus. Symbolism crosses cultures from Egypt to Buddhism to Hinduism. The meaning varies slightly, but overall represents progress from lowest to highest states of consciousness, purity, and drawing beauty from adversity.
As I reflect on the symbolism -- what it means to me especially -- I'm amazed at how complex the meaning is from a "simple" yet powerful image.
How cool is THAT?!!
In MWM,
Suzan
Here's the main image:
A transclucent pink and white lotus flower, tinges of yellow in its petals, floats on clear emerald green water, in the middle of large, dark green leaves. Above the flower is brilliant white light. Below, it's easy to trace the roots to the bottom of the pool of water. They're anchored to the silt at the bottom, filtering the nutrients and feeding the flower and plant.
It's a heart-catching scene.
And I'm just now finding out the symbolism of the lotus after searching for an image online. Turns out that this particular kind of flower is called the sacred lotus. Symbolism crosses cultures from Egypt to Buddhism to Hinduism. The meaning varies slightly, but overall represents progress from lowest to highest states of consciousness, purity, and drawing beauty from adversity.
As I reflect on the symbolism -- what it means to me especially -- I'm amazed at how complex the meaning is from a "simple" yet powerful image.
How cool is THAT?!!
In MWM,
Suzan
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Day 12: Everything is Incredible
"The problem is that everything is incredible and people don't accept it. Now we have computers and telescopes in space looking out into the void and a ton of other marvelous things."
From the December 2012 Spiritual Cinema Circle "Everything is Incredible", a short video about a man who, at poverty level, surviving polio, with severe physical challenges has been - for 50 years- building a helicopter from parts salvaged from the dump and other contributions. A miracle of the mind and human spirit!
What is ordinary for some is extraordinary for others.
In Wonder,
Suzan
From the December 2012 Spiritual Cinema Circle "Everything is Incredible", a short video about a man who, at poverty level, surviving polio, with severe physical challenges has been - for 50 years- building a helicopter from parts salvaged from the dump and other contributions. A miracle of the mind and human spirit!
What is ordinary for some is extraordinary for others.
In Wonder,
Suzan
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Day 11: Entering a New Era
With a new heart, new nerve wiring and knowledge that such GOOD is here (with even more on the way!), I'm starting a meditation tonight.
I'm excited about the energy we are stepping into in the next few days, weeks and months. In the middle of it is my birthday! I've been busy and for the first time in a long time nearly forgotten my own birthday.
Miracles ARE around us!
Suzan
I'm excited about the energy we are stepping into in the next few days, weeks and months. In the middle of it is my birthday! I've been busy and for the first time in a long time nearly forgotten my own birthday.
Miracles ARE around us!
Suzan
Monday, December 10, 2012
Day 10: Return to Normal?
So I'm back to my "normal" job today, not feeling so "normal".
With the events of this past weekend, still fresh, I'm lighter. My heart is more open. I'm giddy at times.
I've been wanting to have more joy in my life and here it is!
It's a little like this photo I took in Sedona last year. A surreal quality to it. Open. Expansive.
I like this new "normal". Bring it on!
Suzan
With the events of this past weekend, still fresh, I'm lighter. My heart is more open. I'm giddy at times.
I've been wanting to have more joy in my life and here it is!
It's a little like this photo I took in Sedona last year. A surreal quality to it. Open. Expansive.
I like this new "normal". Bring it on!
Suzan
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Day 9: Integration
On Friday evening and Saturday, I participated in a workshop, "Becoming Whole in 2012: Alchemizing Soul Patterns."
I'd participated in this workshop back in September and had a profound experience.
This time, I had another magical one.
THIS time, out of a balance in energies of power, love and wisdom, in a regression, came love and acceptance.
I'm still sorting through the pieces and I'm not ready to write about it yet. I will soon, though...
MWM!
Suzan
I'd participated in this workshop back in September and had a profound experience.
This time, I had another magical one.
THIS time, out of a balance in energies of power, love and wisdom, in a regression, came love and acceptance.
I'm still sorting through the pieces and I'm not ready to write about it yet. I will soon, though...
MWM!
Suzan
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Day 8: A Magical Movie
I just watched "Tiny Miny Magic" a short featured in November's Spiritual Cinema Circle's DVD.
It was a sweet film with a surprise ending.
Magic IS everywhere, you know...
Suzan
It was a sweet film with a surprise ending.
Magic IS everywhere, you know...
Suzan
Friday, December 7, 2012
Day 7: Art as a Gift
This morning I sat at Baker's Crust, waiting for my friend Donna and saw her walk in with a huge canvas in hand.
My birthday present!
She had painted -- in her colorful, joyful, fun style -- something just for me. I LOVE it!!!
Thanks MWM!
Suzan
My birthday present!
She had painted -- in her colorful, joyful, fun style -- something just for me. I LOVE it!!!
Thanks MWM!
Suzan
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Day 6: John J surprises me
When I was in college, I worked at a summer camp for kids who have health issues.
This was during the summers of 1981 & 1982, I think... Camp Holiday Trails, just outside the city limits of Charlottesville, was an extraordinary experience for me -- I'd never been to a summer camp as a kid -- I loved it and was exhausted by it. I spent 2 summers there and have photo albums full of fun pictures.
One of my camp friends, John, became a great friend after camp was over. We were both in the graduate counseling program at UVa -- he was a year ahead of me. He and our group of friends lived outside of Charlottesville, in Ivy, Virginia. We called ourselves the "Ivy League". Just thinking about that brings a smile to my face. Many fond memories.
I stayed in touch with John until after we were each married. Lost touch for a few years. Reconnected as my now ex-husband and I were struggling for custody of his kids. Disconnected again for many years. And earlier this year, I heard from John that Camp was having a reunion of counselors, would I go?
I drove to Charlottesville and Camp, nervous about returning. Nervous about meeting up with John again. I was late to the gathering. John was even later. There were only about 5 people at the gathering so it was noticeable -- no "scooting in" and "sliding out".
Drinks after that uncomfortable camp reunion. It was so easy to talk. I'm so grateful that he reached out.
Fast forward to the week after the Heal Trauma Fast training. It's Wednesday. I get an email from John. It's a notice that someone -- I don't recognize the name -- who has passed away. An invitation to the funeral. So I call John to ask who the "someone" was, remember the connection, laugh at some of the memories and fill him in on the training briefly.
A few hours later, John is calling me back, asking if I could bring the training to his work. He's the admissions coordinator for a large organization that has residential treatment and therapeutic foster care services. He asked if I could do the training in a day, rather than 2, and asked for a proposal. WOW!
I sent the proposal the day before Thanksgiving. It's been forwarded to those who have the power (and money) to hire me. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, and also detaching from the outcome. Which is surprisingly easier than I thought it would be.
Already, I've used the outline for a 1-day training to develop a proposal for the AMHCA conference, so it's saved me some time, energy and effort.
And one of my current LPC supervisees heard me talk about the training and how John was interested, so he connected the idea to his organization.
I figure that SOMETHING will come from the requests. It may not even be from the folks who originally asked, though.
The energy keeps flowing, although it's not as full-out as in November. That's ok, because I have enough to work on as the semester winds down.
Even more MWM to come...
Suzan
This was during the summers of 1981 & 1982, I think... Camp Holiday Trails, just outside the city limits of Charlottesville, was an extraordinary experience for me -- I'd never been to a summer camp as a kid -- I loved it and was exhausted by it. I spent 2 summers there and have photo albums full of fun pictures.
One of my camp friends, John, became a great friend after camp was over. We were both in the graduate counseling program at UVa -- he was a year ahead of me. He and our group of friends lived outside of Charlottesville, in Ivy, Virginia. We called ourselves the "Ivy League". Just thinking about that brings a smile to my face. Many fond memories.
I stayed in touch with John until after we were each married. Lost touch for a few years. Reconnected as my now ex-husband and I were struggling for custody of his kids. Disconnected again for many years. And earlier this year, I heard from John that Camp was having a reunion of counselors, would I go?
I drove to Charlottesville and Camp, nervous about returning. Nervous about meeting up with John again. I was late to the gathering. John was even later. There were only about 5 people at the gathering so it was noticeable -- no "scooting in" and "sliding out".
Drinks after that uncomfortable camp reunion. It was so easy to talk. I'm so grateful that he reached out.
Fast forward to the week after the Heal Trauma Fast training. It's Wednesday. I get an email from John. It's a notice that someone -- I don't recognize the name -- who has passed away. An invitation to the funeral. So I call John to ask who the "someone" was, remember the connection, laugh at some of the memories and fill him in on the training briefly.
A few hours later, John is calling me back, asking if I could bring the training to his work. He's the admissions coordinator for a large organization that has residential treatment and therapeutic foster care services. He asked if I could do the training in a day, rather than 2, and asked for a proposal. WOW!
I sent the proposal the day before Thanksgiving. It's been forwarded to those who have the power (and money) to hire me. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, and also detaching from the outcome. Which is surprisingly easier than I thought it would be.
Already, I've used the outline for a 1-day training to develop a proposal for the AMHCA conference, so it's saved me some time, energy and effort.
And one of my current LPC supervisees heard me talk about the training and how John was interested, so he connected the idea to his organization.
I figure that SOMETHING will come from the requests. It may not even be from the folks who originally asked, though.
The energy keeps flowing, although it's not as full-out as in November. That's ok, because I have enough to work on as the semester winds down.
Even more MWM to come...
Suzan
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Day 5: Reflections on How HTF is Unfolding
What I had intended with this blog was to get in writing all the magical, wonderful, miraculous things that have happened in this journey around Heal Trauma Fast. I have to start from the more recent, after the training that was just a month ago...
The training itself was extraordinary. I was, without a doubt, "in the flow". For the first time EVER, I had no sense of time. In fact, every time I looked at a clock or at the schedule we'd developed for the training, it simply wasn't registering. I couldn't read the numbers on the clock face nor on the schedule. If Amy hadn't said (repeatedly mind you, because it was starting to bother me), "You're right on time, don't worry!" I WOULD have really been anxious.
The feedback from the training was lovely, too. Almost everyone in the room had some kind of healing experience. While I was intending for everyone to LEARN about the impact of tapping/EFT, guided imagery and dream work, I didn't even think that there would be the level of healing happening during the training itself for practitioners. It's made me re-think the research study on the training itself.
Because the training was so easy, developing the manual was so EASY and the whole process was magical, I also started to re-think where I want (and need to be). The training ended on Sunday, Nov. 11. Amy stayed through Tuesday morning, Nov.13 and by the time she'd left, I had made a clear decision that I will be leaving my current position sometime next spring or summer.
I NEED time to work on the training, to bring it into the world more fully. Working as a full-time faculty member in the position I'm in with so much administrative responsibility, I just don't see doing both. Although being a faculty member has advantages in terms of credibility, at this point, I want the time in order to be able to travel. Almost right away, I "saw" doing the trainings once a month, in different locations; twice a year in Virginia Beach.
That Tuesday morning, Nov. 13, as I was driving from the airport to ODU, I called Marilyn, one of my HTF team members to ask her what she would recommend as a reasonable lead-time to let my ODU colleagues know I would be leaving. She told me that about 2 months would be a good amount of time. And then she said something like, "Oh, by the way, Walden (an on-line counseling program where she works) just opened 30 new faculty positions, some of them core, but most are contributing (their term for adjunct)." Then, she added that contributing faculty can make around $65,000. Later I found out that benefits are also offered to those part time faculty -- unheard of in traditional university settings.
I counted Marily's news as a major "sign" that I had made the right decision.
So, when I went to our last program faculty meeting for the semester, I felt solid in the decision. I didn't expect that the faculty in my program would give me a second "sign", though. Unfortunately, it was a painful prod, rather than a positive push.
In this faculty meeting, we were using a new system for assigning/selecting classes we would teach for the summer session. It's as fair as I think it can be. It honors the faculty member who has been there longest by allowing them to be the first to pick their first class. The order descends from longest there to least-tenured. But I'm not in a tenured position, so I will ALWAYS be last. Even if I've been at ODU for 20 years, I'll always be last. That's the bad news. The good news is that I get to choose a second time before anyone else and the classes I LIKE to teach are generally ones that others don't want to.
For the summer session, in addition to classes offered, we also had slots for 4 faculty to provide supervision of supervision, so these were also choices that people could make. I've provided "sup-of-sup" for 7 of the 8 years I've been in my position now. I love supervision. I'm good at it and students see that, too. Not all of my colleagues know, though, but I've been ok with that.
And what happened during the choosing turned out to be that additional "proof" that ODU is no longer a place for me to stay. I noticed that as folks were choosing classes, they generally were kind about making sure it was ok for them to chose a class when it was one that someone else might want to teach. Or they joked about "stealing" a class, but were really being kind to each other. Except all 4 of the supervision slots were taken and NO ONE checked with me. Not one of them asked me.
Not one of them even considered that I've been supervising since I started and that I might want to supervise in the summer. So when it came time for me to choose, I got to have my first choice of a skills class. And then I got to choose again, but now there wasn't a slot open for supervision. And I just didn't want to teach any other class on the remaining list for the summer. I teared up and said, "Well, I wonder what's going to happen with Practicum and Internship this summer, then," and no one said a thing.
I took a deep breath and that's when I realized that they were simply doing their part to allow me to leave! How much easier they made it and on a conscious level, they have no idea! (Well, Tim does because I talked to him 2 days later.)
That was the miracle for that day. More to come -- it's late and time for sleep.
Suzan
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Day 4: Dragonflies!
It's December, but today was warm and sunny. A good day for dragonflies...
These are made of clay -- the wings had lace pressed into the clay -- fired, and coated with metalic and glitter paint (thanks to Martha Stewart!). I love the way they shimmer.
I've already given one away as a gift. I carried and gave it like a flower. There was something fun and wonder-full about that.
A simple wonder, shared.
Suzan
These are made of clay -- the wings had lace pressed into the clay -- fired, and coated with metalic and glitter paint (thanks to Martha Stewart!). I love the way they shimmer.
I've already given one away as a gift. I carried and gave it like a flower. There was something fun and wonder-full about that.
A simple wonder, shared.
Suzan
Monday, December 3, 2012
Day 3: The UAC at Work & Play
The training program I recently developed was a result of magic, wonder AND miracles.
But first, an explanation of "the UAC". This is an acronym for "Universal Access Codes" -- a phrase that came from energy work I participated in with Sandy and Elari. It was pivotal for me in my steping into my purpose and feeling solidly supported by God/The Universe.
The energy work was like a guided meditation for me. Among the things that I "saw", was a 3-part metaphor of a tree. The first part included a seat within the trunk of this tree. I'm surrounded on 3 sides -- back, left and right. I'm firmly rooted and grounded in the Earth.
The second portion of the tree is about play. I'm playing in the branches, really feeling the joy of PLAY. (In life, I often forget to play, forget to enJOY.) The painting I started included photos of me as a little girl, laughing. There are also images of birds and other tree-hugging critters.
The third part of the tree is actually above the top. For the first time in a meditation, when I went WAY out into deep space, I "looked" down and saw, attached to my feet, a copper thread connecting me to my tree, my body and Earth. For the first time, I felt secure in this attachment and knew I was safe and supported. In previous meditations, when I was that deep into the cosmos, I had difficulty "coming back" -- fitting back into my body. I felt a great sense of sadness and loss, too.
All that changed with this summer's energy session. One of the messages that came along with the session is that I hold the keys to universal access codes (UAC). Once I "got" that, all kinds of magic, wonder and miracles started to manifest. It was almost daily.
Too bad I didn't write it all down, though! (I DID tell friends and asked them to remind me, so maybe it's time to ask for the reminder.)
With this new blog and discipline, I'm starting to add a commitment to meditate -- even for just a few minutes -- and "go" to the deep inner space to explore and understand my soul's purpose. I did so this morning and felt more connected in general.
There's something about the deep inner space, the UAC, that I'm not quite "getting". It's linked to magic, wonder and miracles, but I'm not sure how. And even though I had a soul contract reading several years ago, somehow I'm not bothered by the fact that I haven't completely understood or figured out how to BE it yet. I do know NOW is the time and it's unfolding just as it needs to.
Maybe that's my miracle today: I'm not bothered, scared or otherwise out of sorts about not knowing or not having "arrived" by now. Everything has clearly been in Divine Timing for the past 6 or so months, so why think otherwise now?
In MW&M,
Suzan
But first, an explanation of "the UAC". This is an acronym for "Universal Access Codes" -- a phrase that came from energy work I participated in with Sandy and Elari. It was pivotal for me in my steping into my purpose and feeling solidly supported by God/The Universe.
The energy work was like a guided meditation for me. Among the things that I "saw", was a 3-part metaphor of a tree. The first part included a seat within the trunk of this tree. I'm surrounded on 3 sides -- back, left and right. I'm firmly rooted and grounded in the Earth.
The second portion of the tree is about play. I'm playing in the branches, really feeling the joy of PLAY. (In life, I often forget to play, forget to enJOY.) The painting I started included photos of me as a little girl, laughing. There are also images of birds and other tree-hugging critters.
The third part of the tree is actually above the top. For the first time in a meditation, when I went WAY out into deep space, I "looked" down and saw, attached to my feet, a copper thread connecting me to my tree, my body and Earth. For the first time, I felt secure in this attachment and knew I was safe and supported. In previous meditations, when I was that deep into the cosmos, I had difficulty "coming back" -- fitting back into my body. I felt a great sense of sadness and loss, too.
All that changed with this summer's energy session. One of the messages that came along with the session is that I hold the keys to universal access codes (UAC). Once I "got" that, all kinds of magic, wonder and miracles started to manifest. It was almost daily.
Too bad I didn't write it all down, though! (I DID tell friends and asked them to remind me, so maybe it's time to ask for the reminder.)
With this new blog and discipline, I'm starting to add a commitment to meditate -- even for just a few minutes -- and "go" to the deep inner space to explore and understand my soul's purpose. I did so this morning and felt more connected in general.
There's something about the deep inner space, the UAC, that I'm not quite "getting". It's linked to magic, wonder and miracles, but I'm not sure how. And even though I had a soul contract reading several years ago, somehow I'm not bothered by the fact that I haven't completely understood or figured out how to BE it yet. I do know NOW is the time and it's unfolding just as it needs to.
Maybe that's my miracle today: I'm not bothered, scared or otherwise out of sorts about not knowing or not having "arrived" by now. Everything has clearly been in Divine Timing for the past 6 or so months, so why think otherwise now?
In MW&M,
Suzan
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Day 2: A Little Creativity Magic
The Virginia Beach Museum of Contemporary Art (MOCA) had its annual art/craft show today.
I had every intention of letting my friends from last night know about the show, but forgot in the busy-ness of the morning.
Jan treated me to a birthday breakfast complete with mimosas. It's not my birthday until later this month, but I've started to enjoy having a month-long celebration. After catching up, we headed to MOCA, where she had intended to find gifts for co-workers and staff, but I was the one who actually purchased items. We chatted up several of the women who were selling their work.
Kelly (I forgot to pick up one of her cards) had wonderfully packaged baked goods and was serving hot chocolate -- a yummy way to begin shopping! I bought a zippered pouch made of vintage fabric turned inside out from Jesse, whose card was way cool and who sells on etsy (etsy.com/shop/anykind).
Next stop was a quick view of some artprints by Hannah (smallbutvaluable.etsy.com). Her business cards were colorful with an embossed stamp with her logo. *** Great idea for Heal Trauma Fast!
Denise's table, a few down from Hannah, popped with color! By day, Denise works in an unlikely accounting-related firm, but you couldn't tell from her paintings and tiny people made from polymer clay and other materials. Check out her website (oddimagination.etsy.com). We had a great conversation, where Denise opened a container with whimsical figurines she'd made but weren't on display. With her permission, I placed them on her table with intentions that she would make great sales today and bought 2 for myself. I'll have to take a picture...
Working our way around the outer tables first, we then stopped to talk with Deb Munroe (debmunroestudio.etsy.com) who had her jewelry displayed on incredible wire trees. I asked if she'd heard of wishing trees (she hadn't) so we spend almost 15 minutes talking about what they are AND -- check this out -- how to make them from a variety of material! Deb teaches classes at D'Art Center in Norfolk and was brimming with ideas. Jan and I have been scratching our heads trying to figure out how to make the trees cheaply but so they're fun, too. A trip to Lowe's or Home Depot is in my near future... PVC pipe and galvanized wire here we come!
Everyone I talked to at the show was an extraordinary connection.
Oh, and did I say that Mary and her 2 friends were there too? That was without sending a text, too!
The last magical connection was with Monee Bengtson, a knitter and staff member of MoCA. She was electric with her enthusiasm for her pieces. And lit up when I mentioned Wabi Sabi! (See my 90WabiSabiDays.blogspot.com for more on it.)
What's happened for YOU today that was magical, wonder-full and/or a miracle?
Suzan
I had every intention of letting my friends from last night know about the show, but forgot in the busy-ness of the morning.
Jan treated me to a birthday breakfast complete with mimosas. It's not my birthday until later this month, but I've started to enjoy having a month-long celebration. After catching up, we headed to MOCA, where she had intended to find gifts for co-workers and staff, but I was the one who actually purchased items. We chatted up several of the women who were selling their work.
Kelly (I forgot to pick up one of her cards) had wonderfully packaged baked goods and was serving hot chocolate -- a yummy way to begin shopping! I bought a zippered pouch made of vintage fabric turned inside out from Jesse, whose card was way cool and who sells on etsy (etsy.com/shop/anykind).
Next stop was a quick view of some artprints by Hannah (smallbutvaluable.etsy.com). Her business cards were colorful with an embossed stamp with her logo. *** Great idea for Heal Trauma Fast!
Denise's table, a few down from Hannah, popped with color! By day, Denise works in an unlikely accounting-related firm, but you couldn't tell from her paintings and tiny people made from polymer clay and other materials. Check out her website (oddimagination.etsy.com). We had a great conversation, where Denise opened a container with whimsical figurines she'd made but weren't on display. With her permission, I placed them on her table with intentions that she would make great sales today and bought 2 for myself. I'll have to take a picture...
Working our way around the outer tables first, we then stopped to talk with Deb Munroe (debmunroestudio.etsy.com) who had her jewelry displayed on incredible wire trees. I asked if she'd heard of wishing trees (she hadn't) so we spend almost 15 minutes talking about what they are AND -- check this out -- how to make them from a variety of material! Deb teaches classes at D'Art Center in Norfolk and was brimming with ideas. Jan and I have been scratching our heads trying to figure out how to make the trees cheaply but so they're fun, too. A trip to Lowe's or Home Depot is in my near future... PVC pipe and galvanized wire here we come!
Everyone I talked to at the show was an extraordinary connection.
Oh, and did I say that Mary and her 2 friends were there too? That was without sending a text, too!
The last magical connection was with Monee Bengtson, a knitter and staff member of MoCA. She was electric with her enthusiasm for her pieces. And lit up when I mentioned Wabi Sabi! (See my 90WabiSabiDays.blogspot.com for more on it.)
What's happened for YOU today that was magical, wonder-full and/or a miracle?
Suzan
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Day 1: Today's Magic, Wonder and Miracle(s)
I'm all about magic, wonder and miracles (MWM) these days.
This has, after all, been quite a magical time, since around June, when things started turning around for me. (Or rather, when I NOTICED it!)
It's Dec. 1, 2012 and for the past several years, people have been talking and writing about Dec. 21, 2012. Most of the folks I've been around have looked forward to this time as one of celebration for a shift in consciousness. There ARE those who have believed that we're doomed -- and they're a little louder now as the countdown is so close.
I want to spend the next 21 days noticing, acknowledging and appreciating all the magical, wonderful and miracle-oriented people, places, events and things that are all around me. Originally, this first entry would be a summary of what's happened in the last few weeks, but it's late and I'm tired, so I'm going to tell you about just today.
The consultation group -- the first face-to-face follow-up to the Heal Trauma Fast training (THAT's a MWM story all by itself!) -- started at 11 this morning in my private practice office in Norfolk. I'm still amazed at how the topics we discussed were so intertwined. From how to work with a "resistant" client who is half-committed to treatment to "resistance" as a normal part of learning and applying something new to honoring "resistance" by not pushing... all woven together so elegantly. Cool stuff.
When I left my office to grab some lunch and also let Natalie use it for her one client (mine was scheduled for 3pm), I walked out with Lee's hubby, John, who had already asked me how I'd managed to get all the fire trucks gathered half a block away. I really didn't know what he was talking about, but played along with him, joking about how much power I have.
What I didn't know until I walked outside was HOW MANY fire trucks were on the street close to the building! As John wondered aloud what was going on, I smelled natural gas and told him that. We looked across the street to see 3 firefighters wearing oxygen tanks and masks, but I still didn't really know what was going on. And I didn't worry or get anxious.
As I walked down the street to the restaurant, I overheard someone say that there WAS a gas leak (THANK YOU, nose!). By the time I ordered my food and was waiting for it, Natalie called me to say that the fire department was evacuating the building, asking everyone to leave for 1/2 hour or so. I figured it would be more time than that, so I decided to reschedule my appointment. No phone number handy, so I wrote a quick email on my iPhone. Ten minutes later, my client calls me, saying she'd just read my email as she was heading out (Miracle!) and we were able to schedule a time to meet on Tuesday.
I never went back into the office. Natalie had locked it at least. I was able to contact Lee, who has access to office keys and agreed to turn off the lights. My laptop and some books are back in the office, so I'll go back sometime tomorrow.
MAGIC
What a great evening, too! I saw Aida at the Little Theater of Va. Beach tonight with Marilyn, Mary, Laurie and a friend of Laurie's. I sat in the back row with Mary and Marilyn and I laughed at Mary's out-loud, fully-engaged comments during the show. I haven't been one to go to plays or performances, but Mary's place is about a mile away from mine and the theater is about 2 blocks from her place. We had a potluck dinner before the show, talking and getting to know each other. I'm so grateful that Mary organized this. I want to remember to connect with her and Marilyn more regularly.
Suzan
This has, after all, been quite a magical time, since around June, when things started turning around for me. (Or rather, when I NOTICED it!)
It's Dec. 1, 2012 and for the past several years, people have been talking and writing about Dec. 21, 2012. Most of the folks I've been around have looked forward to this time as one of celebration for a shift in consciousness. There ARE those who have believed that we're doomed -- and they're a little louder now as the countdown is so close.
I want to spend the next 21 days noticing, acknowledging and appreciating all the magical, wonderful and miracle-oriented people, places, events and things that are all around me. Originally, this first entry would be a summary of what's happened in the last few weeks, but it's late and I'm tired, so I'm going to tell you about just today.
The consultation group -- the first face-to-face follow-up to the Heal Trauma Fast training (THAT's a MWM story all by itself!) -- started at 11 this morning in my private practice office in Norfolk. I'm still amazed at how the topics we discussed were so intertwined. From how to work with a "resistant" client who is half-committed to treatment to "resistance" as a normal part of learning and applying something new to honoring "resistance" by not pushing... all woven together so elegantly. Cool stuff.
When I left my office to grab some lunch and also let Natalie use it for her one client (mine was scheduled for 3pm), I walked out with Lee's hubby, John, who had already asked me how I'd managed to get all the fire trucks gathered half a block away. I really didn't know what he was talking about, but played along with him, joking about how much power I have.
What I didn't know until I walked outside was HOW MANY fire trucks were on the street close to the building! As John wondered aloud what was going on, I smelled natural gas and told him that. We looked across the street to see 3 firefighters wearing oxygen tanks and masks, but I still didn't really know what was going on. And I didn't worry or get anxious.
As I walked down the street to the restaurant, I overheard someone say that there WAS a gas leak (THANK YOU, nose!). By the time I ordered my food and was waiting for it, Natalie called me to say that the fire department was evacuating the building, asking everyone to leave for 1/2 hour or so. I figured it would be more time than that, so I decided to reschedule my appointment. No phone number handy, so I wrote a quick email on my iPhone. Ten minutes later, my client calls me, saying she'd just read my email as she was heading out (Miracle!) and we were able to schedule a time to meet on Tuesday.
I never went back into the office. Natalie had locked it at least. I was able to contact Lee, who has access to office keys and agreed to turn off the lights. My laptop and some books are back in the office, so I'll go back sometime tomorrow.
MAGIC
What a great evening, too! I saw Aida at the Little Theater of Va. Beach tonight with Marilyn, Mary, Laurie and a friend of Laurie's. I sat in the back row with Mary and Marilyn and I laughed at Mary's out-loud, fully-engaged comments during the show. I haven't been one to go to plays or performances, but Mary's place is about a mile away from mine and the theater is about 2 blocks from her place. We had a potluck dinner before the show, talking and getting to know each other. I'm so grateful that Mary organized this. I want to remember to connect with her and Marilyn more regularly.
Suzan
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